Happy 16th Birthday to my beautiful daughter!!!

This is the amazing stamp display unit that I got from my girlfriend for Christmas.

CLICK HERE FOR: Happy New Year

15 pages. 3 12x12 and 12 8x8. :-) Bring on day two!!!

"You'll probably spend some time this weekend thinking about the good things in your life and your loved ones. Before you do that, take a moment to just consider how lucky you are to be here in the first place. In the 21st century, we can experience more in a month than most people throughout history did in a lifetime. Instead of appreciating that fact, we usually just end up wanting to do and have more. We look at what's wrong rather than what's right. This is a perfect time to take a look at your life and priorities again. Can you make some extra time every day to just enjoy the moment and your loved ones? You've been given the gift of a lifetime of moments. Accept the gift and prove yourself worthy. " Spark

Scrapbooking Marathon!!!

My girlfriend is coming up today for a two day scrapbooking marathon! Can't wait. I managed to do some preplanning yesterday and got the room tidied up a bit. Just have to vacuum the house and get DD to clean up her mess in the kitchen and I think I'm ready to go. I am so enjoying scrapbooking again!

CLICK HERE FOR: George and his Oscar

CLICK HERE FOR: George & martini

My boy having fun opening up his Christmas present. He loves his toys. And I love him.

2007 Resolutions

Do you make any? What are they? Do you ever stick to them? What is the point?

I have this stamp on order from RiverCity Rubberworks. :)

This is what I have on when I'm in bed. Too bad it doesn't throw any heat.

So I'm now on antibotics and inhalers. What a difference the inhalers make. I was able to sleep laying down last night and slept for six hours.

Spending the day preplanning scrapbooking projects for Friday and Saturday as my girlfriend is coming up and we're going to do marathon scrapbooking! Can't wait.

My first Christmas as a single mother. I love this shot of my DD and I. Just the glow of the lights on the new Christmas tree.

Woke up at 4am with a fever and coughing fit. Sure wish I had asked for an inhaler rx the other night when I was at work. Feel rotten; spent all day in bed, sleeping on and off between coughing fits. Bringing up a bit of junk, so I will try to see if I can get in to the doctor tomorrow. I usually end up with bronchitis once a year.

DD called at lunch and asked if she could home today. Wasn't expected back from her father's side of the family's Christmas time until late tomorrow. Happy to have my girl home tonight.

If you know anything about me, you know that I love to be in my pj's. Bought these early November on my great shopping trip with my g/f in the US and had a matching pair to give DD for Christmas eve. I told her last night when we put them on, it's ok to be dorky once in awhile. They are so cozy and soft; I just had to take a picture of myself.

I am so spoiled. Last night I got wonderful gifts from my family. Today I got wonderful gifts from my friends. I am blessed.

Tonight, I gave time as a gift, to a friend. It felt great!

My dog has a girlfriend. My g/f and I took our dogs for a walk today and it went really well. They checked each other out initially and then went about their business of going for a walk. Even when we left them off the leash, they were good and pretty much did their own thing. My dog usually ignores other dogs but has low tolerance for small children and puppies that jump. It was really nice to go for a nice walk with my friend and the dogs were so good.

Came home and she treated me with a custom made rubber stamp display unit for my wall for my scrapbooking room. It is awesome! Can't wait to fill it up with my favorite stamps. And acrylic paints and a 12x12 frame. Not sure when I will feel like I'm good enough to hang a layout, but it's incentive to expand my horizons. Had a nice visit. Thank you "L" for caring and not letting me be alone today.

My dog has been pretty quiet since the walk and is now laying beside me, snoring. :-)

Starbuck's Cranberry Bliss Bars (Clone)

Cake

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

1 1/4 cups light brown sugar, packed

3 eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

1 teaspoon ginger

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup diced dried cranberries

6 ounces white chocolate, cut into chunks

Frosting

4-ounces cream cheese, softened

3 cups powdered sugar

4 teaspoons lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 cup diced dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350°F. 2. Make cake by beating butter and brown sugar together with an electric mixer until smooth. Add eggs, vanilla, ginger, and salt and beat well. Gradually mix in flour until smooth. Mix 3/4 cup diced dried cranberries and white chocolate into the batter by hand. Pour batter into a well-greased 9x13" baking pan. Use a spatula to spread the batter evenly across the pan. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until cake is light brown on the edges. Allow cake to cool.

Make frosting by combining softened cream cheese, 3 cups powdered sugar, lemon juice and vanilla extract in a medium bowl with an electric mixer until smooth. When the cake has cooled, use a spatula to spread frosting over the top of the cake.

Sprinkle 1/4 cup of diced cranberries over the frosting on the cake. Allow cake to sit for several hours, then slice the cake lengthwise (the long way) through the middle. Slice the cake across the width three times making a total of eight rectangular slices. Slice each of those rectangles diagonally creating 16 triangular slices.

Makes 16 bars.

This recipe is so easy and so yummy! As a friend of mine would say, "to die for" yummy.

God Jul and Merry Christmas!!!

A BIG congratulations to my dear friend "WL" who just because a first time Grandma to a big bouncing baby boy tonight!

I have to say, I can't wait for this Christmas to be over. The buildup of Christmas has been buildup of dread. I feel ill most of the time. Near tears most of the time. Emotional pain that feels like a physical knife is in my heart, twisting over and over. I wish I could be knocked out cold until the new year arrives. I just want it to be over.

"Slow and steady has not always been an inspiring concept. It's not as sexy as speed and sharp turns of direction. But it may be just the thing to keep you from running out of gas, while still moving you forward. Abe is telling us that the most important thing is to keep walking forward, no matter how slowly. Sometimes slowness can be frustrating. You might become impatient; you might get discouraged with a setback. But a setback doesn't have to set you back. Simply using it as a learning opportunity can leapfrog you ahead again. From now on, try paying attention more to your direction and less to your speed. Be patient, focus on a little bit at a time, and soon enough, you'll be further than you ever thought. Besides, it's a good bet that by always looking forward, Abe rarely looked back in regret. " Spark

Had my Christmas pedicure this afternoon. I like to think of it as foot health maintenance. Colour is "I'm not a waitress"!

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Has always been my favorite Christmas show. My parents gave me the VHS copy of it the day after DD was born. A few years ago I got it on DVD. It's on tonight and gives me good memories from childhood.

It's my blog so I can whine if I want to??? I know my friend "D" will say I'm now allowed to.

I feel horrible. Sinus headache and pressure. Congested cough. Ribs hurt. Throat feel like there is shards of glass in there. Voice barely there.

Stress plays a huge part, I know.

Two good mail days. Lots of Christmas cards and the February 2007 issue of Creating Keepsakes. Medicating, heading to bed to cuddle with the dog and read my new magazine. I hope when I wake up tomorrow this cold is gone.

I hope she won't be mad, but I had to share what came in the mail last night. A parcel with card instructing me to open the card, but not the present until Christmas day. Like I could resist!!! I know, I know, I am very bad. But what a joy to open up; I had a great big smile after that. Thank you so much "TC" for the stamp, and for thinking of me!

Why is the "H" delaying the divorce proceedings?????

Could not sleep last night. Tossed and turned. Partly because I couldn't breath, partly because I kept thinking about Christmas day. Last year I worked, with my husband's encouragement (little did I know then), Christmas day, Boxing day and the 27th. And now, those days I will be alone again. I have a few hours with DD in the morning of the 25th; I want it to be happy and fun; but I am so afraid I'm going to lose it and be a big crying mess.

I've had offers to come to other peoples' homes for the day. I can't do it; it will just be a big glaring reminder that I am no longer part of the family I've had for 22 years and spent Christmas day with, since I was 17 years old. It's a day that I have to, somehow, get through, on my own.

Worked my dayshift yesterday. Busy in the ER. Tough working with a mask on, voice isn't right, can't breath. Got through it. Not sure if I will make it through the next two nights. Up now because I can't breathe. Feel like my eyeballs are going to shoot out of the sockets from all the pressure and lungs feel constricted.

Came home to a lonely dog so out for our daily walk. Crisp out and nice to see all the homes with Christmas lights. My house doesn't have any outdoor lights. Got me thinking about why and realizing Christmas day is only five days away and I will be alone. All alone on Christmas.

I can't wait for this year to be over.

Well you know Christmas has to be right around the corner because I am now officially sick. Sinus cold. Disgusting and miserable. Totally exhausted. Sucks to be me.

Christmas party at my new friend's, was fantastic. She is a truely AWESOME hostess! Home was very festively decorated, so cozy and welcoming. Yummy appetizers. A VERY HARD Christmas quiz. Chocolate fountain. Special ice cream/cake dessert. A game for the mom's to play, each lady ending up with a gift. Fireworks. When we went to leave, we all got a package; I've got a ceramic plaque with two angels and a reinder and it has my name over one again, DD's over the other and the dog over the reindeer. AWWWwwwwwwww She put so much work into that party - just fantastic. Thank you thank you thank you "J"!!!

On the way to a Christmas party.......

I learned how to make Mamma's Norsk donuts today. They are soooo good!

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that’s the day you start moving down the road to success.
No one else can do it for you.
Only you can make it happen.
You’re the only one that has to live your life.
Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility.
It’s up to you to choose the thoughts and actions that will lead you to success.
Your life will be what you make of it.
Nothing will ever happen by itself.
Success will come your way once you realize that you have to make it come your way by your own actions.
The power to succeed is yours alone.

Broken hearts are never healed. They haunt us for a lifetime even if we find someone else. Our past teaches us lessons that make us more aware and more human. Why then do we feel so hurt knowing it can only get better?

Hair is naturally curly and this is how it ends up without much work. Getting TONS of compliments on it.

"I'm not talking a cup of cheap gin splashed over an ice cube. I'm talking satin, fire and ice; Fred Astaire in a glass; surgical cleanliness;
insight and comfort; redemption and absolution. I'm talking a martini." - unknown

"What do you appreciate and what do you ignore? Is a sunrise any less special because its image wouldn't make it on a magazine cover? Is any day less precious because, in your mind, "nothing special" happened? For some reason, it's hard to be impressed with anything these days. Driving a car is a source of strain instead of wonder. The internet is already old news. Quick--when was the last time you paid attention to a space shuttle flight? Remember when that was all people could talk about? Once you take something for granted, you also take the life out of it. When nothing is "special," boredom and gloom aren't far behind. Look around where you're sitting right now, and try to see it for the first time, like a child would. Think about the human potential that created the stuff in the room. Think about the miracles of nature right outside your window. Think about how amazing it is that you're even here to see it. " Spark

Not sure why I am so interested, but what a beautiful family, the Jolie-Pitts.

something pretty on a not pretty day

What a day yesterday. Started the shift off with a patient occupancy of 140%, went up to 180% and then had one transfer which left us with 170% occupancy. That is crazy, people! My body just aches from running all day. But, worked with one of my girlfriends and we work well together. We kept smiling and taking all the compliments on how we looked in our coordinating chocolate brown scrubs. I got tons of compliments on my hair and I loved hearing it. Came home last night to a lonely dog so we went out immediately for a good brisk walk, which makes him so happy. Then we spent the evening cuddling on the bed. A patient's family member has black lab puppies for sale and brought one yesterday. OMG, so so adorable. Love puppy smell. But, it would so stress out my boy to have a puppy in the house. Sometimes I think he would benefit from the company of another dog, but, he does like to get all the attention.

The rain is coming full force and I hear we're expecting high winds. Snow is pretty much all gone. Think I'd rather have that than this miserable rain.

Been checking out the real estate options down the valley. Feels good and positive to think about the future and have plans. Working on an education plan as well. Should have had that addressed in the divorce papers. Expect a response back from DH's laywer at the end of this week. Not impressed with their delay tactics.

Pretty much all done my Christmas shopping. Just two people left to buy for. Everything is wrapped so that is a good feeling. Going to spend Friday evening and Saturday morning with my mom, learning how to make her awesome Norweigan donuts. Mother daughter bonding time. Scrapbooking moment. And on Sunday, hope to make Candycane cookies with DD. It's the only thing she wants baked for Christmas. I can handle that.

Was a happy mail day last night when I checked the box. SIX Christmas cards. Awesome! :)

"Shut out all of your past except that which will help you weather your tomorrows."
William Osler

Well, the hair is going to take some getting used to. I love the cut and really love the colour. It's just going to take some practice with the flat iron. If I let it dry naturally, I have some serious waves happening. And I think I like that too. I feel like I have a style.

Been scrapbooking with my girlfriend all week-end and that has been a good thing. I'm on a roll now! The room seriously needs to be cleaned; have been finding products I had no idea I had bought. Fun to find "new" things again. Got a variety of layouts in the works, as well, have done a few Christmas gifts. And I've started altering a Sarabinder for a new joy journal for me, for 2007.

Housework is nearly done and that too feels good. I just need to "let it go" with the dog hair. I love having the dog in the house with me; why do I let his hair bother me so? Kitchen is clean, except for the floors, which need a serious mopping. Freezer is stocked with food. Caught up with the laundry.

Tomorrow is a busy day unfortunately, with dentist, orthodontist and mammogram appts. My last day off and I'd much prefer to spend it in my pjs vegging. DD needs a Christmas dress so hopefully we'll find that tomorrow too.

New life. New hair. New attitude.

My faithful friend.

I have a work vent. Well I have a lot, but I'll only say one for every set. Might make me feel better. This week's vent is: It makes me crazy when patients/families come find you instead of using the callbell. There's a reason for the callbell people! I especially find it hard to handle when they come right into other patients' rooms and open up curtains. A family member told me last week that "it's faster to come get you than put the callbell on and wait". Yeah, it might seem so but chances are I'm busy with another patient and have to leave in the middle of whatever I was doing there and go attend to your needs. I said it more than once last night "there is only one of me here on nights and I can't be everywhere with each patient all at the same time". Please respect my personal space, which is also my med cart when I'm working the floor. Please try to have a little more patience. Please use your callbell!

I wish for this!

On the first day of class the philosophy professor stood behind a table that had on it a large, empty mayonnaise jar, a box of golf balls, a box of pebbles, and a box of sand. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up the very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up the box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up the box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

I can't believe this. This arrived in my email today. Takes me right back to six months ago. Instant heartache. Sadly, I still believe this is true and that my husband is one of my golf balls.

This dress (above) or this dress (below)?

Where am I going? Oh I don't know, maybe Las Vegas???

Yesterday I had a busy day in the city, trying to do more Christmas shopping, stocking up on groceries (I love M&M!), went to an appt and did a big Safeway shop. There's just something about shopping at Safeway and sipping on your Starbucks. Long busy day and I was wiped when I got home.

Some of the chicks came over last night and it was really great to spend some time together and catch up. Enjoyed a glass of wine and tiramsu.

Slept not too badly overnight and plan to head to bed soon to try and nap before nightshift.

Looking forward to the week-end as my g/f is coming back to town and we're going to do more scrapbooking. So I have to think about what I'd like to work on. Pre planning is the hard part! I did a layout on the week-end that I copied from a magazine and it was a very simple layout and I would have to say it took me nearly 3 hours to complete. Too funny.

Our new tree.

He just loves the snow. Would catch a million snowballs if you could throw a million. DD and I are taking turns taking him out for walks. Not so nice that it warmed up a bit and everything is so slushy. He doesn't care though.

Taken a few days ago of the local mountains, when the sun was out.

Who got a pair of Mary Jane crocs you ask? :-)

Tips on how to develope a positive mental outlook

Get a change of scenery.
Do something challenging and fun.
Do something completely different.
Break out of your normal routine.
Create an adventure for yourself and good friends.
Do something for someone less fortunate than you are.
Focus on the possibilities.
Find opportunities in adversity to break free from your old ways of doing things.
Keep focused on your goals-focused activity reduces procrastination, fear, and anxiety.
Work on things you enjoy doing.
Spend time with people who are fun to be around.
Learn to tell a good joke.
Laugh out loud when people tell you a joke. Laughter is contagious.
Work on improving what you do best.
Don't assume your health will fail.
Learn to be satisfied with what you have

For those who know me, know I can't really cook. I can make some pretty decent appetizers, but main meals have never been my forte. So my friends should appreciate the funniness that I made something for dinner tonight that was a success with my DD and myself. CheddarHam Chowder. Where did I get the recipe you ask? Well from Paper Crafts magazine of course! :)

Cheddar Ham Chowder

2.5 cups water
2 cups potatoe, cubed
1 cup sliced carrots
1/2 cup sliced celery
1/4 cup onion
salt and pepper
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
2 cups milk
2 cups shredded cheddar
16 oz frozen corn
1/5 cups diced ham

Bring water, potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, salt and pepper to boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes. Set aside and do not drain. In second pan, melt butter, blend in flour. Add milk and cook and stir until thick and bubbly. Add cheese. Stir in other vegies including the brother. Add corn and ham. Heat thoroughly. Serves 6-8

Of course I didn't have any vegetables in the house, so it was basically ham, potatoes and cheese. Perfect tummy warmer for a cold day of skiing.

One of the five different styles of Christmas cards I made this year. Got 90% of them done and sent out in the mail on Friday. Feels good to have that done.

Friday evening went to my girlfriend's for our work staff party. We had a great time; good quality people. Good company, good food, good drink, good times.

Saturday my mom and I ventured down to Costco and a few other stores to do some Christmas shopping. I got a few things off my list, but not as much as I should have done. I don't think my mom was very successful either. I was surprised how much things were sold out on, little Christmas stuff left. True, I usually have done most of my shopping by this time. Found a new Christmas tree and my DD and I will put it up tonight. This year's Christmas theme is simple: red and white.

My girlfriend came over last night and we scrapbooked for awhile and visited. Always good when she comes. She's on her way over today for a few hours before she has to head back home.

Then I'll try to clean house and get some dinner organized for DD who has gone on her first "ski day" with her father. We haven't had any further snow fall but it's still on the ground. Warmed up the past few days but today it feels cooler again. Truck is in desperate need of a wash.

21 days until Christmas. Three weeks. Wow.

30 days until my DD turns 16.

24 days until Christmas.

31 days until a new year. A fresh start. A new life.

No, he's not dead. The cat has a rough life. Laying on the heater.