Happy 18th Birthday to my beautiful spirited daughter!

Rest in peace Pappa. I love you!

Boxing day evening.....

Today is one of the hardest days of the year for me. It used to be one of my most favorite. It's a day where I really miss my ex husband, my inlaws and the whole experience of that family on Christmas day. I am thankful to have an hour in the morning to spend with my daughter to do our traditional stocking stuffers and then the rest of the day is best spent under the covers waiting for it all to be over.

Merry Christmas!

God Jul !!!!

Trying to fit in a little "joy" into my day. My dear girlfriend "L" came over and we've been scrapbooking for a couple hours each day. I'm working on a new Christmas album, starting from 2006 as the first year we had a "new" family. I'm using old supplies, which I have a lot of. Sandylion paper and page pebbles. Ok, well I did use one of my new Quickutz Revolution 4x8 fonts: this one is Storybook. Fancypants stamp and Nestabilities. Even my own handprinting.

I love this latest invention by Quickutz. A 4x8 inch die, with complete alphabet. You do need the longer platform to make it work, but I have to say, it's very easy to do. I got Aquarius, chocolat and storybook. Thank you so much to my wonderful girlfriend "L"!!!

For further information check here:

http://www.quickutz.com/qk2/viewItems.aspx?cc=279

And for shopping/enabiling, check here:


www.scrapbookexpress.com


I still love my Quickutz!!!

love this quote

"A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return." Bhagavad Gita

My FACEBOOK is not working and it's driving me NUTS!

You Are Hot Chocolate

Your holiday personality is generous. The holidays are your favorite time to practice the art of giving. You enjoy picking out presents, sharing treats, and making everyone's day a little brighter. And you don't even notice if you don't get anything in return.

What Holiday Drink Are You?

Your Snow Test Says You're Independent

You feel like something good will happen to you eventually, but not soon. You don't really like to work, unless work feels like play. You only are successful when you are doing what you love. You are an independent, individualistic person. You thrive when you're doing your own thing. Your biggest worry in life is your family. You stay up at night thinking about them. When it comes time to relax, you always go the extra mile. You take relaxing as seriously as anything else in life.

The Snow Test

• this year there is very little Christmas decorating in my home. Months ago, I had thought it would be a wonderful happy Christmas and I so looked forward to all of it, but that is not meant to be.
• my father, as most of my friends know, is dying. He has lung cancer and end stage emphysema. Smoking for 68 years. We actually had to put him in the palliative room at the hospital last week, as we thought he was going to die over the week-end. But he rallied and decided that he wanted to live past Christmas, and so I brought him home and have been caring for him there. My mom has done an amazing job caring for him but unfortunately he wants me. His condition changes over a matter of hours; it is very much a roller coaster ride. My brother set up an airbed in the basement so I could sleep by him; he's been living in the basement for a few months now. So, a very emotional time. I'm physically drained, already. Christmas has sort of been put on the backburner. Actually, everything else, has been put on the backburner.
• to top things off, my darling daughter, in her last week of university, had a few drinks and went playing in the snow, in the middle of the night with some friends. and promptly broke her right ankle. so she's an unhappy camper in an aircast for 6 weeks.
• my house is such a disaster. beyond embarrassing. I look at the dust bunnies and feel ashamed that I let it go this long. Yet I can't seem to summon up the energy to deal with it. I KNOW I need to make it nice for Christmas next week, for my daughter. And we'll be having some company for a few days too; my dear friend D is bringing his two girls up so I can look after them while they are away. Will be nice to have some dogs to cuddle with in bed again. Wonder how Raja will take it all.....

If I don't make it back to my blog before Christmas and the New Year, I do want to wish my readers a very happy holiday season and much happiness and health in 2009!

8 months....

This picture is of Gunnar on December 25th, 2007. The thought of him not being here for Christmas is heartbreaking. When will the grief subside?

• simple candle arrangement, courtesy of Super store and "ice" from Crate'n'Barrell
• my dad had another "episode of shortness of breath" yesterday which really scared him and my mom. spent about five hours in the ER until things settled down, and now another new medication. I'm trying so hard to be there as much as I can for both of them and yet, continue on with my life and work responsibilities and such. but in the end, family will always come first.
• lots of things happened at work last week, not much I am willing to comment on, other than I feel very stressed now, more than ever, so lots to think about. the hospital has now put up decorations in a few areas. on our unit, our wonderful unit clerk "P" did an amazing job of getting silver and purple/lavender decorations for the unit, as lavender is the colour of hospice palliative. we had several positive comments from patients and families on my last nightshift, how pretty the tree was.
• got most of my gifts wrapped and ready to go to my parents. as always, I am stuck with my brother and youngest nephew yet to buy for. I LOVE to give gifts, ones that the person really wishes for or is just the perfect thing for them. that is the true gift to me. makes me happy to spoil the people I love and care about.
• been itching to scrapbook again. especially Christmas pictures. I did a small 8x8 album for 2006, but would like to start a general Christmas album, starting from that year. So I printed off pictures from 2007 to get started. I got a great "kit" from Joann fabrics last time I was in the US visiting my g/f, so I am going to start with it.
• my secret Christmas project is getting to me. the more I make, the more people I remember. I don't know if I can get it done in time for Christmas. I have 24 now, and still have about 10 people to do! goodness gracious me. I can't wait to take a picture of it and it will be fun to give it out.
• thinking about Gunnar a lot. time sure doesn't seem to be healing this wound. when I brought out the wrapping paper box the other day, there was so much dog hair in there.... he's everywhere.
• Raja has been good company. he has taken to going under the blankets and cuddling into the crook of my arm and sleeping there with me. he wants far more attention than he ever did. during the day, he likes to sleep in the same spot on the bed, that Gunnar did. I guess I should buy the poor bugger something for Christmas.

Your Christmas Sprit Level: 60%

You have a lot of Christmas spirit, and it's evident to most people who know you. You love most things Christmas, and you do your best to make sure everyone has a great holiday. While you like the more commercial aspects of Christmas, you truly know what the spirit of Christmas is about. You're all about giving, being kind, and sharing the spirit of Christmas with everyone you know.

Do You Have the Christmas Spirit?

You Are 31% Likely to Survive Another Great Depression

Your habits are pretty on par with the average person. Unfortunately, this means your chances aren't good in another Great Depression. Start saving your money now. Living in debt isn't doing you any favors. Also figure out how to live a little more cheaply. Every little bit you can trim will help.

Could You Survive Another Great Depression?

I know

it's hard to be reconciled

not everything is exactly

the way it ought to be

but please turn around

and step into the future

leave memories behind

enter the land of hope

by Zhigniew Herbert

The Ultimate Color Test

When you are at peace, you are: Energized and innovative When you are moved to act, you are: Giving and warm When you are inspired, you are: Spiritual and humble When your life is perfectly balanced, you are: Philosophical and expressive Your life's purpose is: To find contentment

The Ultimate Color Test

• Working in a new hospital is not all that "greener on the other side". I knew of course there would be lots of bumps and kinks to be worked out, but four months have passed and I don't see many fixes to the issues, the ones important to me anyways. The final straw was finding out on my last shift, there will be no Christmas decorations. I love the unit. I love the type of nursing we do. It can be hard and very emotional, but also very satisfying. I love the staff; I have made friends very quickly, which was something I didn't expect. I would hate to leave them already. But... come on now... no Christmas decorating? Right now, I'd much rather be in my small community hospital with no staff, with all the snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. I thought this Christmas would be different, better. New starts does not = happiness.
• Pappa seems to be doing ok. Still weak and on continuous oxygen at home. Mamma is doing an amazing job caring for him.
• I got my European Christmas cards out in the mail yesterday so that felt good. I ran out of printer paper so have to get some today so I can finish off the rest of the cards and get them out in the mail tomorrow. For some of my friends, I'm doing something a little different and that project has grown and grown and I wonder if I'll ever be done!
• Am absolutely loving my TASSIMO machine. You can get different discs in the states, so I placed an order last week and hope they come soon. Can't wait to try it out on my coffee expert friends.
• My dear daughter is coming home today and I am so looking forward to seeing her. Still find it so hard that she is in university and away from home. The house is too big, too empty, too quiet. Hope we can spend some quality time over the holidays. She has such a busy social life!!!
• Dreaming of Las Vegas and Cancun. What can I say????

Oh my! Ali Edwards has released some stamps in partnership with Technique Tuesday! Love her handwriting. love love love it!

one of my favorite things at Christmas: my dishes. They come in four different designs. just love'em!